When we look at celebrities and their on-and-of relationships, it’s easy to relate and think that if they did it, we can do it too. Take Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez for example. In the recent years they have broken up and got back together several times.
This usually suggests that the relationship is not solid, and most experts would say breaking up and getting back together multiple times is generally a good indicator that you should not get back together.
Still, there are a few instances where it’s OK to get back together, it depends on your feelings for each other, and the reasons that led to the breakup in the first place.
Think about the reason you want to get back together and look at it as an outsider. Does the reason seems legitimate or is it solely because you don’t want to be alone? If your reason is because you feel you didn’t tried hard enough to work on the relationship, then it’s a good reason.
If your ex tells you he\she wants you back, take your time before answering. Think really carefully for at least a day or two before you answer, and consider the pros and cons.
Also, think about why you broke up in the first place. Was it a one-time incident, a big fight that neither of you wanted to back down, or was it because an affair that one of you had?
If it was an argument that eventually can be worked on and resolved, you can definitely try again. But if it was an affair – not a good idea. An affair totally breaks the trust between a couple, and there will always be suspicion from the betrayed party.
Think about how your life changed after the breakup. If you were crushed, needy and unable to talk to anyone, you need more time for yourself before you even think about getting back together.
If, however, you moved on and made new friends or started a new hobby, but still have warm feelings for your ex, you can consider reuniting with him or her.
Take this into account – if you get back together with your ex, you have to start over and let the time you spent apart be a clean break for both of you. Don’t rush into anything and don’t try to pick up where you left off. Stay realistic and pace the relationship slowly like you’ve just met.